The Land of Saerington

There’s a country you’ve never heard of called Saerington. If you say you’ve heard of it before you’re a liar, because Saerington isn’t on any map, or at least it isn’t labeled as Saerington if the physical territory it occupies is portrayed. That’s because Saerington lies on the border between two larger nations, so when you look for it on a map all you see is a black line traced over where Saerington lies.

“What countries border Saerington?” you ask. Well technically none do, since Saerington is on the border. But if you must know what countries run up against the border Saerington lies upon… well, tough. The residents have enough trouble as it is without tourists coming to take pictures of them and disturbing the local ecosystem.

Within the land of Saerington live a people called the Anrap, who still worship their ancient tribal god, the Humungous Garbantulon. It’s said that in the Fairly Early Days the Humungous Garbantulon awakened from its long slumber (the Humungous Garbantulon is gender-neutral, which is a lot easier to express in the Anrap language than it is in English) with the need to take a Great Piss. So sustained was its urination that its salty after-sleep excretion became the ocean, and the urea gas became the clouds and atmosphere.

There are other stories too, like the time the Humungous Garbantulon flossed unearthly spinach from its teeth and cast the flecks of vegetation to the earth, giving rise to the green fields and forests. Another time the Humungous Garbantulon taught the Anrap to use fire by demonstrating how it could use lightning to set its farts aflame.

The shamans of the Anrap teach the village children how to behave by pointing to the Humungous Garbantulon as an example of how not to live one’s life. This may seem odd coming from a Judeo-Christian-Islamic tradition where the chief deity is held as the ultimate example, arbiter of justice and embodiment of purity. The Anrap consider the Humungous Garbantulon something of an embarrassment, like a drunken lech of a brother whom one loves as part of the family but doesn’t want to be seen with in public. A common response to ethical questions among the Anrap is to ask “What would the Humungous Garbantulon do?” and then do the opposite.

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